Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
