Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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