false alarm. still invincible.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
