He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize