real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
