the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
