How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
