in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I CAN MOONWALK!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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