hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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