dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
