Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
