don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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