I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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