She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
