and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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