Just mADE A PArabola og urine
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
