he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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