It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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