People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
