Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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