He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This house was built for laser tag.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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