He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize