Your face is a jimmy john
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As shirtless as possible
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
