guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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