You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize