OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
