Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
