Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
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