I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
