I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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