I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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