There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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