the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
