u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
