There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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