Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
