I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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