How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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