You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
