You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
