yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize