Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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