I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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