I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
