They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
