Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize