what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
