I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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