Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Floor bacon is actually really good
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
