You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
