We're like a lot better than the average bears
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
