it wasn't lemon gatorade
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
