I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
