That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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