you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize