we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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