Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
