I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize