This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
